Co-worker Stacey and I were discussing the pros and cons of "reconnecting" with people you sort of knew but didn't really like in high school, playground frenemies from the 3rd grade, fathers you didn't know you had, so on and so forth, and we both decided we don't actually want contact with any of these people, but the curiosity of what MIGHT have happened to them can be so deliciously aggravating.
Like, what ever happened to Christina E.? Did she end up having 3 children out of wedlock with different baby-daddy's before the age of 21 like I think she did? And Courtney - is she some artsy vegan tree-hugging nut job in Oregon, who only wears sandals made from recyclables? What about Mean Maggie, the rotund boisterous girl who plagiarized a book report in the 6th grade and GOT AWAY WITH IT because bald-headed Mr. Cooley wouldn't believe me even though I READ the book she plagiarized.
I bet little Marky ended up joining a gang after all, and I have a feeling Tommy Tobin actually is the "bum bandit" who terrorizes Nebraska citizens by leaving his bum print on windows. And if you think I am exaggerating these hypotheses, maybe you ought to take a trip to Fresno and then you'll believe me. On second thought, don't. Unless you WANT your car to get stolen and consequently used for a drive-by shooting because some Mexican hombre with a gold tooth crossed the line into Laotian territory and keyed one of their rice rockets.
But you know when you run into someone from high school, and you realize after you talk to them that they're still as lame as they were when you were forced to sit next to them in English and they repeatedly tried to impress you by leaning over and showing you how much booze they had in their backpack, except they look way worse now? Well that happened to me except I was the loser! It happened at the voting poll of all places, and blast-from-the-past girl was in a medical research Ph.D program, had a huge rock on her finger and a hot fiance, AND she looked good - with that naturally pretty look that I can never hope to achieve. And I was the one in sweats and greasy hair and living at home and probably had chocolate on the side of my mouth. Then, as we are walking out of the polls, we realize we're parked right next to each other. Except that SHE is in a nice luxury vehicle, and I am in my mom's FESTIVA. Needless to say it wasn't one of my better moments.
The moral of the story is that I feel better about myself if I don't by happenstance run into people I used to know. So if you ever find me on facebook and I don't want to be your friend, you know why.
5 comments:
Oh my gosh, you are hilarious. (trying really hard not to use exclamation marks). I totally understand, though. I hardly ever use Facebook, but I have over 100 friends on there. I chuckle every time I get another friend invite because, I just click and forget, click and forget. It's nice that I have all their info there should I need to contact someone, but how often does that really happen? (never yet).
Anyway, I loved all your musings about your old classmates. They are classic! (oops, sorry).
Funny thing is, I don't pack anything for trips home. Because I don't own anything. Meaning, I go home to poor poor poor North Dakota and end up wearing high quality (though fake) fur coats and leaning out of the window to chat with an old high school buddy who has either a)dropped out of college and works for some friend of the family b) thinks tube tops are a good idea c) has at least one child out of wedlock or d) all of the above. Unfortunately I am the one who feels uncomfortable looking like that.
Ryan and I were both laughing so hard. I think everybody has a run-in like that. And that is why I rarely go out in public when I am home- seriously, I do not want to run into people I kind of use to know. I'm afraid I won't remember who they are or worst yet, I'll remember them perfectly and they won't have any recollection who the heck I am. Talk about awkward!
I can't imagine you looked all that greasy. You always look pretty put-together these days :)
Funny that you left that comment on my blog.....i have been wanting to tell you for a while how much I enjoy your witty, sarcastic, "reality appreciation" humor. You crack me up. Here is the website for the collage maker. I just put one together and then right click on it to save it to my computer.
http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
hope to see ya soon. :)
I just ignore people. It doesn't matter how close they are in proximity to me. Stupid Lindsey from high school could be right next to me in the check out line and I would avoid eye contact and $20 says she would too.
As far as the car thing, that's when you pretend you forgot something and go back inside or go stand by another car and rummage through your bag until they leave pretending to be searching for your keys. Works every time.
Post a Comment