Monday, December 1, 2008

in which i say nothing

After living in a glutton's paradise for many days, I have returned to normalcy and can once again think properly. And here is what I think:

1. Fog freaks me out. Last night I was coming home from a friend's house, and the fog was so thick I could hardly see where I was going. I thought for sure some chalky, red-lipped vampire was going to hurl himself at my car. Which for a moment I couldn't figure why I would even come up with that, since I haven't even seen Twilight, until I realized that thought was a result of watching THIS masterpiece:


TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART! Yes, you have to dedicate a few, or 5 1/2, minutes to it, but isn't it well worth it? How many times while watching did you ask yourself, Why? What does it all mean? And admit it, the thought flashed through your mind that maybe you would like to "dance" about wearing a loincloth, or a ninja suit, too. Thank you, Amanda and Rob, for sharing this treasure.

2. I almost got baby hungry on Sunday. ALMOST. Because Amanda's baby is so scrumptious. And then the words of dear Mme. Bjork came back into my mind as I was cooing baby Grace. Quoth she:

Single? Psh! What's so bad about that? Like I've always said, being single makes you more intelligent. Since you're having a Totinos pizza for one, you can read the dictionary or wikipedia or layout plays by Marlowe and Shakespeare side by side and you can form your own well-informed decision over whether the chicken or the egg came first. Nextly, you can sample every fish in the sea and then throw them back without ever having to worry about global warming. Being single is like not having a conscience. Goodbye Jiminy Cricket, I'm a real girl.Thirdly, there's no one around to find out exactly how much chocolate you really are eating. Everyone can go along with assumptions like that of my roommate's, "You eat more vegetables than anyone I know. It's like you're a vegetarian. Oh wait, you are."

Does quoting this make me sound feminist? Because I love men. And moms. And I figure that since there are mommy blogs aplenty, why can I not give a shout out to singlehood every now and then? Aren't we supposed to embrace the current situation we find ourselves in? So consider this MY embrace to you, gentle reader.

Anyway. I love this: Being single is like not having a conscience. No wonder I never feel bad! No wonder people often find me offensive! The pieces are all coming together now! Thank you Marge, I now understand. Although I am definitely NOT a vegetarian, as evidenced by the amount of turkey I consumed for 6 straight meals.

3. Don't you hate it when you get really bad book recommendations, but you have to feign a certain amount of interest to be polite? Some girls at work, bless their hearts, know that I enjoy the written word, and so have loaned me Wicked (refuse to read) and some Nicholas Sparks sap (refuse to read). How long should I hold onto them before I hand it back with a "Thanks - that was an interesting read"?

3 comments:

i i eee said...

OMG, I had never actually watched that video. There ARE ninjas!

I say return the book the next day, and say, "Oh my, I was up all night reading it. I couldn't put it down." Read the summaries on Wikipedia, and you can totes pull it off.

Man, I need to read Marge's blog on a regular basis. That's fawesome.

Marge Bjork said...

oh I'm blushing.

I think you should return the books and say, "I think they were just too deep for me," with your most serious face.

Amanda said...

You're hilarious. That is a fantastic quote! I'm glad you're sharing the...fun(?) with the world :) It was so fun to see you!