Oh the places you'll go!

I was talking with this bro the other day about imagination, and he was all bragging to me that he had some spectacular imagination that was WAY better than other peoples' imaginations. I started to argue, but then thought the better of it. First, it was quite obvious that I had the better imagination of the two, because I had better ideas and wit than him. I'm just sayin'! Also, maybe I should cut him some slack because he might actually have some imagination. A deep, hidden well, full of interesting thoughts that he doesn't share with anyone. That would make him less boring!

I sometimes imagine that the many boring people surrounding me each day have really awesome secret dark thoughts. Like kamikaze and death and chaos and shiz. That would make them way cooler and definitely freaky-deeky. No one cut them off in traffic or look out! Probably though most people are just as lame as I think they are.

I bet if someone could peek inside my mind for just one minute they would be overcome with wonder, confusion and bafflement. (Bafflement?) They would have a system freak-out overload. And then they would drop dead. Because that is how great my imagination is. Sometimes while I'm on the treadmill I think of chasing Osama Bin Laden through the cavernous hills of wherever he lives. Obviously I would outrun him. And I would have brass knuckles. You do the math. Or sometimes I think of what I would do if I ruled the world... how big would my army be? What would I wear? Would I marry to be respectable, or rule alone and mess around on the side? (That took me .02 seconds to decide). How will I design my propaganda posters? How big would my monument be? So many things to consider. It's exhausting.

I also enjoy musing about what it would be like to be a character in a book. Like Jane Eyre in Jane Eyre. Or Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility. If I got screwed over by a man like that, I would definitely NOT sit there and take it like some unlucky new guy in the prison showers. And then I would probably end up abondoning my moral convictions and give in to a life of sin. Because if Jane Eyre had done that then foxy Mr. Rochester wouldn't have gotten all gimpy and crap.

When I was little I used imagine going back in time to the Norman Invasion and giving the Britons machine guns. That'll teach William the Bastard! The sword-wielding men would look at me in amazement, and I'd act like it was no big deal. Then they would ask me to stay to show them more "magic." No, I would say, I cannot. But here is some Advil and tampons - enjoy! When I was even littler I used to make the Twins play "treasure hunt," which basically was them digging with little kid shovels wherever I commanded, with me being the master and getting to keep whatever we found. That's what the twins got because they weren't that imaginative.

Anyway. Maybe I shouldn't have shared all of that info. TMI! But I'm betting that I'm not the only one out there...