Monday, June 9, 2008

When All You Hear is "Modest is Hottest"

It's that time of year again. The merriment can be felt all over campus. The excitement is almost tangible! Giggles and smiles and arm-wrestling all over the place. There is also an increase in capped sleeved tees, cargo shorts and unflattering pleated Target skirts which can mean only one thing...

That's right - the time has arrived when BYU campus is almost cleared of students and infested with EFYers. I noticed this a couple weeks ago while on my way to pick up a new book at the library. There were little people running around everywhere! The quad looked like how I picture Woodstock - except cleaner and I never got a whiff of weed. And then I walked into the library and I thought I had been transported to a ghost town. Even the Asian section, known to me for their very loud Asian girls who, when I asked if they knew how to whisper, asked "Whispa?" was eerily silent.

My annoyance at obnoxious Asians has been replaced by an annoyance for the EFYers. Because let's be honest - I am always annoyed at something. So I decided to do what I do best: Gloat and be pretentious. I put on my cutest pink dress, new lipstick and hot new heels and strutted around campus. I laughed inside at all the teens going through their awkward stages, because I certainly never went through one. I had a few girls compliment my ensemble, and I graciously smirked. I had a few boys smile at me, so I pulled down my sunglasses and winked. It was almost like a service project. And I felt like I was getting away with something because I didn't have to wear a keychain-nametag and I got to pass the invisible barrier that the EFY Counselor-Sentinels were blockading. I pranced right by them like a royal while the little peasants couldn't. I can't read minds that well, but I was definitely getting the "I wish I were like her" vibe. Can I help it if I am so fab?

I guess this has shown an unimpressive side of me, but at least I am being honest. And really, if you are my friend and reading this then you 1) Already knew this is something I do sometimes, and 2) Probably do it yourself, which is why we are friends in the first place. So here's to a harmless way of blowing out someones candle to make yours brighter.

3 comments:

Mike Lau said...

Bravo Tara! Usually when EFY rolls around I like to throw on my tightest muscle shirt and flex for all those teenybopper girls. At the same time it destroys the confidence of those young awkward boys whose voices have yet to drop. E!F!Y!

Miriam Herm said...

our annoyance at youth is what makes us friends. we split when you get all gussied up and look for an admiration vibe. i merely growl and glare and perhaps yell. . .because yes, i am that woman.

at our community pool, i yelled at some teenage girls for cussing. and yes, i yelled. at our ward party i yelled at primary children running about and then yelled at more primary children and took the broom handle they were playing with.

i am a mean, grumpy youth-hater.

Amber Marie said...

this is the kind of post that makes me proud to be your cousin. you are too hilarious and brilliant.

to math,
amber marie