Though I am praying every night that the rumors are groundless, I am horrified none the less. Apparently the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged is in pre-production, and the main star is none other than the infamous Angelina Jolie.
I just vomited again.
Not only do I shudder at the thought on principle, but... I had really planned on the role being played by myself! I would make a PERFECT Dagny Taggart. I think I would be more of a gracious loser if it was anyone other than Jolie, except for maybe Lindsay Lohan. I was willing to die my hair darker for this part. Plus, I am a-emotional and really love hard-core capitalism, unlike some other people (read: Jolie). I feel like I am really perfect for this role, but according to the casting director I am not "glamorous enough," whatever that means.
Here are some other roles I was right for but didn't get:
Marie Antoinette in Marie Antoinette (Kirsten Dunst had the "slut factor.")
Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice (Kiera Knightly "just fit better.")
Amelie in Amelie (I was "not French.")
Maximus in Gladiator (technically a "man's role.")
Jane Austen in Becoming Jane (producers wanted a "big name.")
Michael Corleone in The Godfather (I wasn't "believable enough.")
Penelope in Penelope (I couldn't "pull off" a pig nose.)
The Girl in Once (I wasn't "musical.")
Your loss, Hollywood. Your loss.
3 comments:
Tara, is everything you type hilarious? By the way, I am completely intimidated by the word verification blogger's going to have me type to leave a reply... What is that? A "J" or a "Z"
Some other roles you might have been good at:
Gretchen from "Mean Girls" when she transitions to her new Asian crew - because of your sometimes hair.
Bridget from "Bridget Jones Diary" - because I might have seen you eating the entire contents of your fridge once.
Harry from "When Harry met Sally" - you were too tall for that one.
And the dead Indian that talks under the water from "Pathfinder" - but you weren't willing to act under cold water.
toshay, toshay.
so is jolie a capitalist? i would say no, but then again there are a lot of people involved in this project...it'll be interesting to see how it turns out. I guess I should read the book again, you've read it 3, 4 times??
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