a mystery

The other day I was doing the usual: lazing about, looking for black market Chanel bags on craigslist. And, as I always do whilst looking for illegal goods online, I had a stash of treats next to me. So when I reached for my baggie of cereal and tossed a handful of Cap'n Crunch in my mouth . . .

GAG.


I ran to the trash can and spat it out because it was that disgusting. But what was it that made it so nasty? I had to be sure, so yes, I ate some more. STILL FOUL. It tasted like - perfume? How is that even possible?!? I wondered. It's not like I took a bottle of eu de toilette and spritzed it in my ziploc.

Was it in the vicinety when I sprayed a dab on myself earlier? Is this some nasty prank perpretrated by the twins? Nothing added up. So I took another whiff, and sure enough it smelled, and tasted, of CoCo Madmoiselle. The very same Chanel body lotion I had gotten for free earlier at the mall from the class action lawsuit (I hope you took advantage of that, because I know I did. Thank you Macy's AND Nordstrom)!

However, I am convinced that I never stuck my moisturized digits in the goodie bag. I would have thought twice about such a questionable act, because my love of cereal runs deep. So the only possible explanation is that while transporting said bag from room to room, the lotion on my hands SEEPED THROUGH THE PLASTIC and infected all my Crunch. It's the only logical deduction.

Mystery solved.