Picture this: You. Atop your trusty steed, Silver. Clay-red desert, hot wind blowing the tumbleweeds across the dry river bed. A drip of sweat rolls down your forehead. You finger your 6-shooter pistol in its holster on your left hip. Your body tenses with the anticipation of physical exertion just seconds away . . . "Hi-yo, Silver!!" QUE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE!
Have you ever wanted to gallop along to that triumphant song? Well now you can! But preferably in a Honda Civic going 55 mph. And only until Tuesday. But yes - there is a strip of highway in Lancaster (designed by Honda) where the grooves on the road turn the noise of the tires into the William Tell Overture. Genius! Congrats Honda for your applaudable marketing schemes. Too bad the Lancaster residents are such pathetic whiners. As if "lack of sleep" should be a good enough reason to repave the highway. I mean, COME ON. These geniuses should never have bought a home close to the freeway in the first place. It's Lancaster for crying out loud. It's not like they suffer from lack of space.
Let me give you three good reasons why the highway should stay musical:
1. A sense of community. I'm all about people doing things together alone. Like getting onto Avenue K, then exiting once they pass the musical strip, and getting back on the freeway to do it all over again. What a bringing together of citizens!
2. How many other places can say that they have a road that plays overtures? It will attract all kinds of people. Probably weirdos. But let's be honest, Lancaster needs all the notoriety it can get:
3. If people drive this road enough, and I'm talking the repeat offenders that just can't get enough, then that means that more and more gas will be consumed. Which means there will be some kind of petrol crisis, and then we will deem it absolutely necessary to drill in the ANWR. And I'm all about that. Especially because there might be the added perk of forcing the caribou into the Arctic Ocean. I have no love for Caribou.
1 comment:
nothing makes me feel better about people debating the same topics over and over again than to hear you talk about the joy of drilling in ANWR. You give me faith in the world, dear Taradise.
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