Dear CW channel,
Look, I've got a lot on my plate right now. Job hunting, avoiding the mall, deciding which kind of salsa I want to eat tonight, etc etc, and so I just don't have TIME to deal with Gossip Girl right now. I've been thinking about it over the last few episodes and I've decided I reject the following:
1) Little J's hair. It is FOUL. The cut reminds me of a trashy-blond version of Linda from The Wedding Singer who accidentally sticks her head in the path of the weed whacker. Also, that cloud of eyeliner and black spiked choker. Really? Since when is it supposed to look like Jenny Humphrey waged a war with the trash in the San Fernando Valley and lost?
2) Aaron. I yawn just thinking about him. I feel like I'm being sucked into a black hole of boringness whenever he's on screen. His flannel shirts, greasy locks and cross-eyed goggling stares make me vomit in my mouth. I'm ready for him to be killed off, or at least sent to some zen-voodoo art school extraordinaire where everyone holds hands and chants Simon and Garfunkel songs. Because his whiny monotone 2-unintelligible-words-per-minute speeches on dating aren't doing it for me. And get some braces for crying out loud! This is America: no snagletooths allowed.
3) Chuck and Blair. No longer waging war. The conniving, meddling, back-stabbing, I'll-get-you-to-love-me-yet passion was the only real reason I watched this show. And now with the "maybe sometime in the future" cease-fire, I think I might give up on this show altogether.
Oh, and don't even get me STARTED on Mr. Nate Archibald and that bizarre bundle of conflicts.
Please, PLEASE bring back the fire. The drama. The minor-hunting cougars. Because until you do, NBC is getting my undivided attention.
Best Regards,
Tara
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5 comments:
Um. this is awesome.
I want to vomit everytime aaron is on screen as well. I cannot stand him nor serena right now. And did you notice that when Jenny came home for thanksgiving all of the horrible scary black eyeliner/shadow business was gone? She looked normal! I hope she stays that way.
I will continue to watch though. Mike will continue to sit there on the couch bored while I do.
I don't know what's more sad... oh wait no there's nothing more sad than the fact that I know exactly who these people are and that I know why you have a gripe with them.
OF COURSE!!! :) I'm glad you left me your e-mail address. I'm hoping I can transition without letting anyone slip through the cracks.
Oh, and I'd comment further on this post, but I'm sooo not qualified as I've never seen the show. :)
Gossip Girl? Really?
thank you for saying: i reject the following. i'm stealing that phrase.
and also, what happened between jen and nate anyway? and why would vanessa be mad at jenny? (can you tell i just watched an episode?)
ps remember when there were actually good tv shows to talk about?
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