Society for HandHeld Hushing

I work on campus, in a back office with a rather large desk, two computer monitors, and a window that “overlooks” the hallway. I thought that people coming up to me and ordering a double cheeseburger with fries and a shake was kind of funny until the 18,00^th time, and then it started to get old. But what REALLY started to bother me were the incessant cell phone conversations that I was forced to listen to. Apparently there is some mysterious force field throughout the rest of the building which forces my peers to only chat on their mobiles right outside of where I sit.

“I know, right?! Can you BELIEVE she would actually say that to me?! I don’t know who she thinks she is…”

“I'm here, where are you?...Over here, where are you?...Right here, where are you?...”

“Dude it will be OFF THE HOOK! We’re gonna bring wine coolers and fire crackers. Maybe we can find stuff to set on fire. I know – AWESOME. And lots of chicks….”

“Sure. 5 o’clock? Ya that sounds fun. No I really like the idea of eating dinner on a grassy median in the middle of the road. And then laser tag? Ok cool. Uh-huh…. Yep ice skating after that would be fun. Ya that movie looked good, I’ve been wanting to see it. It starts at 10 pm? Dessert after? Sounds good. After the movie? At your sister’s house? Cool.”

I was over dumb gossip (at least give me something juicy), descriptions of marathon dates that sounded awful, and tools discussing their lives that they think are AWESOME but really are so stupid that you want to rip your hair out just thinking about it.

So I made a sign kindly asking people to take their unwanted conversations elsewhere, preferably while walking off a cliff. I taped it in a very conspicuous spot on the wall, hoping the cell phone talk-pacing across my window would finally end. I think it helped a bit. A few winners came up to me, pointed at it and said, “You sick of hearing people talk on their cell phones?” No. I was hoping for more actually.

Then I discovered this website. It makes cards that you can hand out to people. I have already filled a few out which read like this: “Dear cell phone user – We are aware that your ongoing conversation about (example) your inability to get a date is very important to you, but we thought you’d like to know that it doesn’t interest us in the least. In fact, your babbling disregard for others is more than a little annoying. “

I suddenly feel so empowered.