This is where I get to go in a few days.
I know. Warm weather, sunshine, cool ocean breeze. The complete antithesis of Provo. Don’t be too jealous though. I am going home for a reason, and the reason is this: my twin brothers are getting home from their missions in England.
“But Tara,” you may say, “aren’t you so excited that they are coming home?”
Well… sort of.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my little brothers. They are everything that little brothers should be. You might say they fulfill the measure of their creation. They are funny (if you consider blowing things up at family reunions funny), they are trouble makers (they power-boxed just about friend and acquaintance they had), they tease my younger siblings relentlessly, they ate all the ice cream in the house and pretended they didn’t, but most importantly – they do whatever I want them to.
This I attribute to years of WWF – Tara the Rock vs. The Evil Twins, in which I always dominated. Also, I used to manipulate them.
When we were little I would tell them, You start kindergarten TOMORROW so you’d better get your stuff ready because you have to stay there all day!... and then they would cry as I laughed and I would tell them I was kidding, and then they laughed too (I think). When we got older and I was coerced into babysitting every weekend for years, I would convince them that I was unable to walk/lift my arms/get up and that it would be in everyone’s best interest if they did my chores/put the babies in the bath/cleaned the kitchen.
But they did whatever I asked, to which I now, as a mature and responsible adult, am grateful. That is why I am going home. I will not have a bedroom, or even a bed, now that they are back. I will have to endure hours of torment riding in a car with THE WHOLE FAMILY. And I have to relive the slight (or extreme) jealousy that they got to live in England for two years, and the regret (until the day I die) that I didn’t take the internship in the British parliament this winter that was offered to me.
Oh the things I do for my family. Twins, this is for you.
3 comments:
They really did all those things for you? Wow, they are totally worth flying home for. I had no idea they were so submissive to you! This whole time I thought our lives ran parallel. My brothers laugh when I tell them to even get me a drink of water- and that is when I am 9 months pregnant and bloated!
I'm glad they are coming home! Yeah for Tara's twin brothers. I really only know them as "the twins" and the younger ones as "the babies." Did you ask them if they ran into the guy who played Winters on BOB?
This post was funny.
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