The Founding Fathers would approve of THIS

Ahoy there Sailor! Wait - what's that L? You want a photo tour of the greatest holiday which we spent in Coronado? Why, it'll be my pleasure to showcase the highlights of the world's most patriotic community. In the words of your people, Anchors away!



Remember these days? When you didn't care what your mom forced you to wear, and your biggest concern was getting your bubbles to be bigger than your siblings? And after losing that competition you poured their bubble solution out on the grass? Or was that just me?

Blow harder little dude, those are looking kinda wimpy.


For those of you who were worried that Capitalism is on its way out, fear not; these pre-teens have it under control. Only 50 cents for an Otter Pop? What a steal!
Nothing warms my heart more than watching people count money. Ayn Rand would be so proud.


Hey look - the parade is about to begin! Too bad you didn't grab a front row seat. Looks like we're going to have to walk against the flow of its direction. No worries, though - it makes it shorter. Three cheers for that!



We've already reached the best part of the parade! These guys reenact the famous photo of raising the flag on Iwo Jima. They do it in slow motion - and if this were the world of Harry Potter I would tell you to pay close attention so you could watch it happen. Alas.
What happened to the reenactment of US Marines rescuing their imprisoned comrade whilst simultaneously sneak-attacking the Taliban and shoving them in the bamboo cage and turning their own guns on them? Because that was AWESOME. Methinks it was a bit too . . . well, it certainly wasn't pc, which is why I loved it. I fear that piece will never return.


Do you have a good view from that second story window, shirtless man? And what, pray tell, are you staring at?
Oh . . .
I can see the draw to watch these Saloon Ladies in the bedazzled colonial garb, the authenticity of which isn't fooling anyone. They do look like they're having fun though, don't they? I wonder where one can sign up to become a member. I mean, it's probably a profitable and rewarding profession, and I hear STDs are overrated.


Oh good - Union soldiers. I was starting to worry that those proud brothel madams were going to convince the aging traffic patrolman to join in their cavorting on the float. Whew. Yanks with muzzle-loader rifles always make for good peace keepers.

As you were, gentlemen.


I bet you will never see so many Vets in such a condensed location as you will here on Coronado island. Vets from WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and survivors of the attack of Pearl Harbor. In fact, we had a Medal of Honor recipient there in the parade: John Finn. The oldest living Medal of Honor recipient, and only living Pearl-Harbor-Day Medal of Honor recipient. He earned it by firing a 50-cal machine gun at Japanese planes, even though he was out in the open and an easy target. He was wounded many times by strafing gun fire, but continued to man the gun till he was ordered to the hospital. Lieutenant Finn, I salute you.

And I salute you too, anonymous Vet with cute baby.



And who doesn't like a little free advertising when given the chance?

Sadly, they had given all their supposed 5-star-chef-made breakfast away. Probably with the stipulation that they be allowed to share a message.


Hold on a second here - was I transported back to Provo?! Maybe the tent pictured above should have given it away, because I didn't fully realize I was out of San Diego till I saw this:

Allow me to photo document this special moment, my liege. How I have missed you guys battling it out on the campus quad! And I'm pretty sure that 50% of your Medieval Club were in my major, because topics somehow always came back to the Vikings. I'm not quite sure of the 4th of July connection though . . . did we have knights fight in any of the wars?

But I completely agree, man-with-the-studded-tunic - the only thing the US Military needs is some medieval warriors. It could be a new branch: Knights of the Realm. Though I don't think the flowy white pirate shirts will make the cut.

And so concludes the historic tour. Hope you had as great a 4th as I did!