Monday, May 25, 2009

Stone Cold Sober

If I drank alcohol, I would be an alcoholic. I know this because I am always drinking something like Diet Coke, and if I'm not, then I'm thinking about how I wish I were drinking something like Diet Coke. Which is one of the many reasons I don't drink. Last night I remembered another reason: getting drunk makes you look like a total idiot.

Example: A girlfriend and I went out for some late-night dancing in Seattle. We were the first on the dance floor, getting our groove on while everyone else was getting hosed. Miraculously, an hour later the floor was packed with people who suddenly had zero inhibitions where they were previously chalk-full of them an hour before. Girls thought themselves the new Britney (with considerable less balance), the dudes ogled with bottles (and very likely roofies) in hand, and the cougars (bless their hearts) took advantage of anything male that came their way. Such a delight for a connoisseur of human folly such as I.

After hours of dancing and interesting encounters, we tried to bus it home - a total disaster - and just talked a cab into a ridiculously low rate to take us home instead. But I am convinced that had I been sloshed out of my mind, I would be dead. So thank you Diet Coke for giving me a good alternative to mind-blowing inebriation.

I hope that the next few cities on my itinerary hold as much, if not more, intoxicated ridiculousness. I have a feeling I won't be disappointed.

3 comments:

Amber Marie said...

I was so excited to see a new post. I was wondering when your travels would make it onto the blog.

If I had a shirt to wear to promote your blog I'd totally wear it :) I'm your biggest fan.

Marge Bjork said...

ooo throw in some kareoke bars!

Laquina said...

I catch your drift in a big, big way man. Just wait until it is your boss stumbling around and passing out in street gutters - are you still supposed to listen to them after that?

Ah the life of state! Whilst keeping your eyes open to the entertainment remember to keep your ears open as well because people tend to "tell all" when they've been on the sauce and that can pay off for you!

Happy travels and see you in Denver!