Lessons Learned

You know how when you interview for a job, or talk about your current job to someone else, and you say things like, I hope to/am getting lots of experience and learning valuable lessons that will improve my skills yada yada yada? Well, here are some things I've learned and am now sharing with you. Valuable lessons indeed:

1. When working with children, try to relate. In other words, have quick access to urbandictionary.com. This came in useful when i needed to figure out what the kids meant when they used the word "bamma", as in, "This girl at school always comes in sweats and never brushes her hair or teeth - she is straight up Bamma." After telling the sweet darlings of the unappropriatness of such language, I added it to my repatoire, and now say it to my co-workers all the time.

2. Travel Wisely. This includes many things, like don't make flight connections in Detroit. Mainly because if you get stranded there, like I almost did last week, you're stuck in DETROIT. Also, gloves not only keep hands warm, but provide a barrier between you and everything you're forced to touch, so wear them at all times - tis the flu season, after all. Also, remember that some fellow plane passengers have it worse than you, like the hot Italian man who was courteously trying to avoid, unsuccessfully, the paws of the probably-prostitute seated next to him named Twinkle. Good thing it was a quick flight.

3. Embrace the unexpected. Like when I woke up a few months ago, thought to self, "hmmm it's been awhile since I watched football. I think i really love football," so I had a co-worker explain the rules of engagement, and now I have to watch every game i possibly can. College and NFL - love 'em both. I spent a heavenly night watching multiple games with a funny Texan at a bar while my co-workers got wasted, and i kinda felt like the dude who is glued to the tv and ignores everyone till the game is over and demands people leave him alone unless they're bringing him nachos and i loved it. It's gotten pretty intense; I mean, i'm going to a bar tonight, ALONE, because the gym doesn't have the NFL channel and I need to see the Colts vs. the Saints and I'm already going out of my mind just thinking about it and how they're both undefeated but i really dislike the Saints and love the Colts and would love to see New Orleans get pounded but i'm pretty sure they won't because they've been doing the pounding this season and Indianapolis is more fast than strong and they're not shooting for an undefeated season but i hope they still try and omg what if Peyton gets injured and i love him and would love to see the Saints get beaten and hopefully humiliated it would be like an early Christmas.

4. Put away those stereotypes! When I was in New Jersey I was willing to give one and all the benefit of the doubt. A friend gave me a briefing on "the people of Jersey," to which I figured was a bit of a bias since she's a New Yorker, but . . . I decided on closer inspection that sometimes stereotypes are a great way to prepare you for the unexpected.

5. Just say no to free pets. This has nothing to do with my job. My brother came home with a 9 week black lab yesterday, and the parents are out of town. Already I feel like I've just dedicated my life to this mongrel, it's so needy.
This does not bode well.

I'm offering these tips free of charge, so take them. Treasure them. And learn.


AMENDMENT TO #3: As Mr. Lau pointed out, and as I realized when I got TO THE BAR, it was Colts vs. Jaguars - a bit disappointing, because who really cares about the Jags, but still a good game. Or at least would've been, had I not been called home in the 3rd quarter because little sister was vomitting all over the place and my parents are gone. Awesome.