Meet Piper. The newest addition to the-home-which-houses-too-many-people-already. My brother brought (read: snuck) her home 10 days before Christmas without telling my parents, who just happened to be out of town when Kyle heard that a lady was giving away puppies. And by the time the parents did get home it was too late: Paige was attached. And we all know that whatever Paige wants, Paige gets.
I suppose it would be untruthful to say that any of us really didn't want her, because we all agreed that she was cute and THANKFULLY looked like her full black lab parent as opposed to the ugly beagle-pug-lab-mutt parent. We're a hands-off bunch though and none of us wanted to take care of a puppy. Honestly it felt like having a newborn baby in the house again, and not in a good way. Especially at first, because despite Kyle bringing it home without consent, who was the one who took care of it 24/7 for the first week, playing with it and taking it the bathroom at 2am? Oh yeah, ME. And then mom comes home from vacation and decides she wants to name it Piper ("I'm the one that has to deal with it for the rest of it's life, so I should get to choose!" she says), even though everyone but Paige hated that name, so of course Piper it had to be.
Sigh. Whatever, I'm over it.
Anyway.
Despite it being an "outside" dog, we keep it in a crate in the kitchen at night. This was a case of ongoing dispute, which sounded something like this:
Dad: "It's an animal. It wants to sleep outside."
Mom: "Kevin, it a PUPPY. It'll get cold. And I want it to get used to a crate."
Dad: "Why? Dogs sleep in dirt in the wild."
Mom: "Well it's not a dingo. Honestly, we are NOT doing the whole survival-of-the-fittest experiment in the backyard AGAIN. And besides, I already know I'm going to be taking care of it, so what do you care?"
Dad: "So long as it doesn't bark or pee and doesn't stink up the house, I guess it's fine. FOR NOW."
I know what you're probably thinking. You look at that cute face and think, How could your dad want to leave it outside in the cold all night?! Well I'll tell you. It's because 1) it's a stinky puppy and we all hate smelling animal in the house, 2) it barks and whines when it's in the crate, and 3) it isn't COLD at night. It's like, 60 degrees for a low at night, unless it's raining or something. This is no Minnesota winter, you know?
Plus, the dog is a little psychotic. Though that was bound to happen, because my family can never have a normal animal that lives above two years. Remember this brief history? Ya. Anyone care to wager how long little Piper here is going to live? I'll tell you one thing - it'll be much shorter than even my brothers and I have bet if she does to any of my possessions what she did to that soccer ball you see in the picture above, where she sits so sweetly. Crazy dog.
